Battle Scars
by ThominhoNalbyfan29
Summary: Brutus loves Cassius, but is rejected by reasons he cannot understand. Cassius is having a secret affair with Titinius, but will all three of them make it through the Battle of Philippi? Brutus/Cassius/Titinius love triangle. Warnings: lots of angst, character deaths, violence, sex. COMPLETED.


Brutus took a deep breath and tried to calm himself down. He thought himself a reasonable man, and it wouldn't do him any good to be nervous. It was only Cassius. Only Cassius that he was confessing his love for, Cassius who he was sure loved him back. He had hinted it, after all... "_You bear too stubborn and strange a hand, Over your friend that loves you_". He admitted then that he loved Brutus, and what had Brutus done? Nothing! "_I know that virtue to be in you, Brutus, As well as I do know your outward favor._" Outward favor...Was this flirting? And then their fight...their fight. "_Brutus hath rived my heart._"

"Oh, Cassius," said Brutus aloud, his eyes filling with tears. He wiped them away angrily. "I've always loved you." _Do this_, his heart were both shouting at him. _He needs you, and you need him._

His heart thundering in his chest, Brutus went outside in the darkness and found his brother's tent. A lamp was still burning, meaning that Cassius was still awake. "Brother?"

Cassius was sitting at his desk, and he smiled when he saw Brutus. "Most noble brother," he said, getting up and hugging Brutus. "What mean you to come to my tent at this late hour?"

_Here goes_, thought Brutus, who was sweating by now. "To confess to you," Brutus told him. "Cassius, I fear that I have been dishonest about my emotions...for you." _I could get lost in his beautiful blue eyes..._ "I have given my feelings more thought, and yours based on your words." He knelt on the ground and held Cassius' hand as his brother looked at him, stunned. "I am in love with you, Cassius. I love you, more than as brothers, and I wish to court you."

Cassius opened his mouth, but no words came out. He was blushing, his blue eyes wide. "Brutus," he said, calmly. "I am flattered. I return your feelings, of course I do, how could I not? But I am not worthy of an honorable man such as yourself."

Dread filled Brutus then, it felt heavy and weighed him down. "Cassius-"

"I understand your wife is dead," Cassius went on. "While I do not doubt that you love me, perhaps you bear such emotions for me because of her loss, and I have been with you often. I have comforted you, been by your side, maybe you have grown to love me because of that."

"That's not it. I loved you before then-"

It was like Brutus hadn't even spoken. "Do not think your love is unrequited, my dear Brutus. I would be with you. But, as I said, you are too honorable for a man such as myself. I am selfish, uncapable of loving an amazing man such as yourself. Find someone better for yourself."

Tears streamed down Brutus' face. "I love you," he choked, willing to do anything, anything at all, for Cassius to love him in return. "There is nobody I want more than you, my Cassius. Please."

Cassius shook his head and kissed Brutus softly on the lips. Brutus whimpered and grabbed a fistful of Cassius' toga, pulling him close, and Brutus pressed his body against Cassius' as the kiss deepened. Cassius' lips were so soft, and gentle and warm against his. His brother's tongue explored his mouth, explored the back of his throat. When they broke apart, Cassius looked like he was going to cry. Brutus' own eyes glistened with tears. "We have a long day ahead of us, my Brutus. Try and get some sleep - if not for yourself, then for me."

Brutus' grief was mixed with false hatred. "I am not _your_ Brutus," he snarled.

Cassius' eyes were filled with sadness. _I'm sorry_, Brutus wanted to say, but didn't. "Forgive me," his brother said, and Brutus could tell his brother was crying. But he was already halfway out of Cassius' tent by then, now weighed down by grief because of his brother's rejection.

Cassius' PoV:

Cassius stared after his brother, unsure of whether he should go after him. Better just to leave him alone, he decided.

"Cassius?" That was Titinius' gentle voice. He looked up into his best friend's sparkling blue eyes, which were filled with love.

He smiled. "I have been waiting for you," said Cassius as Titinius came over to the other side of the desk where he was sitting. Cassius stood, wrapping his arms around Titinius' waist.

"I heard you talking to Brutus," Titinius said, holding Cassius' face in his hands. "I saw you kiss him."

"Yes," Cassius agreed. "I did kiss him."

"Did you feel anything when you kissed him?"

"I did," admitted Cassius guiltily. "But I also love you."

Titinius smiled warmly as they began to kiss. Feelings exploded inside Cassius, love and desire for his best friend mixed together. The kiss went fom soft and loving to hot and hungry. "I want you," Cassius moaned, his bottom lip brushing Titinius'. Titinius stared at him, eyes full of lust, as Cassius removed his toga. Titinius was wearing a tunic underneath. "So many layers."

His best friend blushed prettily and pulled Cassius into another kiss to distract him. It worked. Titinius' tongue touched his own, warm and wet. Cassius led Titinius over to the bed, kissing him the whole time, and Titinius fell backwards onto the large bed, Cassius on top of him. Cassius dug his fingers into Titinius' short, jet black hair as they kissed desperately, Cassius' hands roaming Titinius' body under his tunic.

Titinius moaned. "Cassius...touch me," he whimpered, grabbing Cassius' hand and putting it between his legs. Cassius removed Titinius' tunic; his erection was way too visible in his loincloth.

"Cassius," Titinius said again.

"Shhh," Cassius whispered, kissing and sucking on Titinius' neck.

"Cassius, wait," Titinius said, and Cassius made himself look up at his best friend. "Are you sure you want this? We could wait-"

"Wait?" Cassius repeated. "Titinius, this could be the last night of our lives. It probably will be. And I want to spend it with you. My Titinius."

Titinius smiled, his eyes glistening with tears. "I love you," he choked, and pulled Cassius into a loving embrace. A lump formed in Cassius' throat, and he blinked his own tears out of his eyes and sniffled.

"I want this," Cassius said. "If _you_ do..."

"I do," Titinius assured him.

Without saying anything else, Cassius bent his head to kiss his neck, then kissed his throat and his chest and his stomach. "So beautiful," Cassius sighed, crawling up the bed to kiss Titinius' lips. Titinius smiled, caressing Cassius' face gently.

"Cassius," he panted, "do it. I want you in me."

When Cassius pushed into him for the very first time, Titinius moaned and wriggled under him in pleasure. Cassius thrust deeper into him and Titinius gasped loudly. "Cassius!" he cried out.

Titinius came inside him then, Cassius' name on his lips. "Titinius," Cassius groaned, laying down on the bed beside his love. Their eyes met, and Cassius saw the love his best friend felt for him, despite everything. "I love you," he said honestly, and did not think of Brutus in that moment.

"I love you," Titinius echoed. "More than anything." They kissed again and fell asleep in each other's arms.

Brutus' PoV:

Brutus had imagined he would spend his last night on earth with Cassius. But he was wrong, so so wrong. Cassius didn't want to be with him. What he'd said was an excuse. _It had to be_, he thought as he listened to the muffled cries and moans coming from Cassius' tent. _He just wants that stupid Titinius. _Almost subconsciously, he put several fingers on his lips, remembering the kiss. It had been good. Too good.

Another part of him was still on the part where Cassius was his brother (brother-in-law, to be specific) and they were family. It was sick. But love was love, and Brutus couldn't help who he loved. He wanted to love Portia, but he just never had feelings for girls. He was friends with them, and Portia had been his friend, but he didn't want to be with them. Besides, Portia was dead, and he still grieved over that fact even if he was not in love with her. She had been like a sister to him. And Cassius had married Brutus' real sister, Junia Tertia. He'd fallen for his sister's husband, but it wasn't like Cassius wasn't in love with Titinius already.

Brutus blinked tears out of his eyes. Cassius had fallen asleep in his tent the other night while they were going over battle plans, and he'd left his pillow in Brutus' tent. _It still smells of him_, Brutus thought, burying his nose in it. Cassius always smelled like roses and cologne. How Junia couldn't tell that Cassius was gay was a mystery. His dirty blonde hair was long - unlike any other Roman man's, it fell past his shoulders. Plus, Cassius had been sneaking around with Titinius for a while, he was surprised Junia didn't find out or see the love between them.

Jealousy immediately filled Brutus. More tears streamed down his face and his heart ached. He had been so sure Cassius would love him, that everything would be okay. That Cassius would make it okay. And now he was the one who had been betrayed. He didn't even want to know what Titinius and Cassius were doing in Cassius' tent.

He felt himself growing hard. Making a small noise in the back of his throat, Brutus put a hand under the blankets. He slept naked, without even a tunic or loincloth. When he wrapped a hand around his erection he moaned, closing his eyes. "C-Cassius," he sighed, leaning his head back as he pleasured himself. He came quickly into his hand and grabbed a cloth on the nightstand to clean himself up.

Cassius' PoV:

It felt like a dream when Cassius woke up in the morning. Titinius shifted in his arms, naked beside him, and his eyes fluttered open. "Is it morning?" he mumbled.

"Yep," said Cassius lovingly.

Titinius smiled. "Happy birthday," he said.

"What? Oh, right! I'd forgotten." Cassius placed a kiss on his lips.

"And I remembered." Titinius reached down and grabbed something from beside the bed, and when he lifted it up Cassius saw it was a sword in its sheath. It was long and looked heavy.

"You didn't have to get me anything," Cassius said, smiling. He drew the sword out of its sheath, and it gleamed when the sunlight caught it. "It's so beautiful." He turned to his lover, who was smiling too. "Thank you." He put the sword back in the sheath and wrapped his arms around Titinius' neck, kissing him deeply.

"I also have something else for you," Titinius said, holding up a small box. Cassius gasped. "Cassius, I love you more than I've ever loved anything or anyone. I love you, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you." He opened the box, and Cassius' eyes widened when he saw a beautiful ring inside it. "Caius Cassius, if we live through this battle, will you marry me?"

Cassius stared at the ring in shock. He blinked. "Yes," he answered, and Titinius' smile lifted his heart. "Yes!" Tears filled his eyes and he pressed his lips against Titinius', kissing him and they fell backwards onto the bed, Cassius on top of him.

Instead of making love, though, they dressed each other for battle and went outside, joining their friends. Titinius looked worried. "There's no way we can win," he said.

"Don't say that." Cassius wrapped his arms around Titinius' neck and kissed him, in front of everyone. Everyone fell silent, and Cassius could feel his brother's eyes on him. He knew he was hurting Brutus, but he couldn't help who he loved, and he loved Titinius. You didn't choose love, love chose you.

When the kiss broke, everyone was staring at them in shock. "I knew it," Brutus yelled at Cassius. "I _knew_ it!" He went back to his conversation with Messala, and everyone went back to their conversations.

Cassius went over to Brutus and pulled him aside. "Brother, I am truly sorry-" Cassius started.

"Shut up," Brutus interrupted him. "Do not lie, Cassius. You have always been bad at it."

"Brutus-"

"I _hate_ you," his brother growled, and stalked away.

* * *

On the battlefield, everything felt different. Everyone was silent, both Cassius and Brutus' troops and Antony's. When Antony raised his sword, his troops' bows aimed, and when he lowered it they fired.

There was chaos at once. Cassius' troops went flying off their horses, and Cassius looked around for Titinius. When he didn't see him, he panicked, and went off in search of him.

He found Titinius laying on the ground, an arrow sticking out of his chest. Tears streamed down his face. "Titinius!" he sobbed, sliding off his horse and kneeling beside him.

Titinius' eyes were closed, but he opened them when he heard Cassius' wail. "Cassius," he gasped, and coughed up blood.

"No," Cassius choked through his tears. "We - we can take you back to camp, heal you. You won't die, Titinius. My sweet Titinius, my love. I won't let you."

Titinius looked up at him sadly. "Cassius," he sighed. "I will only...ever love..." He closed his eyes and was silent.

"No!" Cassius sobbed. He buried his face in Titinius chest, tears overflowing his eyes. He looked up to see Titinius' eyes still closed. "No, no, no!" He kissed Titinius' lips, over and over. They were cold. "No! No!" He felt for a pulse, a heartbeat, anything to show that his lover was alive. Nothing. Cassius broke down and wept like he never had before, and then vomited into the grass, sick with grief.

He saw shoes in front of him, and looked up to see Brutus. His brother knelt beside him, and wrapped Cassius in a tight embrace. "I'm sorry," he murmured. "And I meant not what I said. I love you more than anything else in this world, or any other. And if I had died, you would die thinking I hate you."

Cassius kissed his brother-in-law on the lips. "All is forgiven," he said. "Now I mourn my lover." He buried his face in Brutus' shoulder and cried, as the battle continued around them and the body of his dead lover close to him.

**AN: Yeah, I know this is darker than the type of fanfics I usually write. I decided to expand my horizons a bit. Please review and let me know what you think.**


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